Gerald
May 29, 2011
Speaking up for Gerald Rawlins, our school's
former vice principal who left under questionable circumstances, and
possibly inciting revolt against our principal.
Sent: Sunday, May 29, 2011 4:35 PM
To: DL AHS All Teachers
I'm not normally a conspiracy theorist. But I have to imagine
that somebody somewhere is very relieved that our email is down this
weekend, and this long overdue conversation temporarily stifled.
Fred already nailed the two best adjectives when he described Gerald as
superlatively honorable and dedicated. The man was also
fantastically humble, perhaps to a fault. He never put himself
above us, nor even equal to us, really. He never walked past a
piece of litter too humble for him to veer out of his way to stoop and
pick up. I smile when I imagine how completely mortified he'd
have been if someone had tried to dedicate a "vice principal" spot for
him in the parking lot. I so miss his constant presence at the
girls' basketball banquets and the music boosters' fundraisers, trying
to hide inconspicuously in a back corner, ready to duck out of the room
if anyone tried to publicly recognize him, make him stand and take a
bow.
I doubt Gerald ever saw himself as a leader. But he was.
The best kind. Leadership isn't telling people what to do.
It's setting an example in one's own actions and conduct so compelling
that those around can't help but admire it, want to follow it of their
own accord. I try to do that for my kids. Gerald did that
for me.
It's possible that Gerald's silence is for reasons entirely
personal. But I confess to having doubts. It's hard to
imagine that he would have left the way he did unless there was
something horribly wrong between him and the powers that be. And
how many others have also left their posts in deafening silence these
past couple years, here and elsewhere in the district? When
people tell me about computer problems, I tell them that if it happens
once, it's a fluke, don't worry about it. If it happens twice,
then there really is something wrong.
How is it that in a public school district, so much is shrouded in
secrecy, so many decisions from on high that all seem to affect our
kids for the worse handed down to us without our input, our opinion, or
even our being aware that they were being decided in the first
place? I want to believe that somebody somewhere has a good
underlying motivation for it all. So why don't they tell us what
it is so we can be on board, a part of it, rather than subjected to it?
And surely somebody somewhere in this district knows why Gerald
left. So why don't they tell us, so that we're not sitting here
wildly speculating? Are we not even supposed to wonder?
And now we're being asked to get together for a picture. And
because of all these crazy speculations in my mind, I'm forced to asked
myself whether Gerald would even want to see me in a picture handed to
him by our principal. Or whether that would just bring him down
even more. Whether he might get a chuckle if I try to show
solidarity with him and unhappiness with the way things are by also
being absent.
Crazy talk, huh? Making a mountain out of a molehill? I
don't not want to be part of a farewell gift for Gerald. But I'm
afraid of doing him an even greater wrong by showing up. And I
don't expect I'll have anything but rumor and speculation to try to
make a decision on.
The only thing I do know is that I deeply miss the man.
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